Stupid Crows

I dont know what it is about Cortland but the number of crows that show up here in the winter is absolutely ridiculous. I dont know if its all of upstate but it seems like every crow in the world migrates to the trees on campus all the way down to my house for the winter. These ugly birds have been terrorizing my life for the past couple of years and I need to tell you about it.
It started back freshman year the first day back from winter break, my friend Ben and I went over to Moffett to play some basketball and on our way we heard what sounded like rain coming down but it was just millions of crows flying off the trees over us because they were scared of the basketball that we were throwing up in the air. Even though it was cool to watch all these birds flock away all at once I still had a very uneasy feeling because the crow is such an ugly bird and I dont know if its just me but when I think of the huge black bird I think of death.
They freaked me out for my first 2 years here but I completely forgot about them until about 2 weeks ago. I went outside early in the morning to go to my 830 class and as Im getting into my truck I notice all the bird crap all over. I figured I parked under a couple of birds because my driveway is surrounded by trees and I didnt really think much about it, until the next couple of days Shelley was getting pounded by this purple shit and finally it hit me, the crows were back.
Its that time of the year as the weather is getting much colder and the death bird returns to Cortland. I went outside one night last week to see if it was the crows and as soon as I closed the door to my house the thousands of birds that live in the trees around my house started crapping while flying away. It was like something Ive never seen before, loads of bird crap hitting the cement like a rain storm. Shelley was covered and now I am starting to get a little angry.
I calmed down and realized that it wasnt that big of a deal cause I can just get my truck washed and I was just going to have to wait it out until these stupid birds left. It wasnt until the other day that I have grown a deep hatred for these birds because I had my 830 class cancelled so I had the morning to sleep in which was nice, so I thought. I was awoken that morning by the squeal of those stupid birds. Im used to being awaken by birds back home because my room is adjacent to a huge tree but this was not a small little bird chirping, this sounded like an animal was dying. This noise began at 8 o'clock and hindered me from enjoying my morning sleeping in and all this means is that its war. If they are allowed to shoot their shit at me I should be able to shoot them.
Its time to eliminate these ugly, garbage picking, crap shooting, annoying noise making birds once and for all and if anyone has ever ran into an experience like any of these you would be with me.